Thank you, Liquor fines and/or expulsion and/or police involvement!
There's nothing quite like sitting in your room, with the door locked and the blinds closed just to nurse a beer quietly. A college that takes seriously the charge of preventing college students from drinking is not a college I want any part of. Unfortunately, it's rather too late for that.
I shouldn't complain though, really. Even people that are 21 and over can only drink in thier rooms with the blinds closed and the door locked. Also, it's against the rules for anyone to display empty liqour bottles of any kind in thier room. Yes, little lamb, you heard correctly. It's a 3 strikes and your out policy not just for beer, but for beer bottles. Jesus fuck my eye.
The major downside of this is that liquor is a prime lubricant of social interaction among strangers. I enjoy being drunk, hell, I even enjoy being drunk alone. Still, I enjoy being drunk around other people more than being drunk alone, and by my definition, it means I'm not an alcoholic. If they really want to build community, they'd set up a few (dozen) kegs and just let everyone go at it. That's how you can instantly meet dozens of people and have a great social network. Not neccessarily "friends" but just people you can sit with at lunch and find out about campus events from. But no, that's not possible.
Of course, it's not possible officially, but a handy measure of intelligence is the amount of discretion an authority uses in enforcing arbitrary and harmful rules. In this case, they've elected to be female imperialist running dogs. That is to say, bitches. In any non totalitarian society, you can't actually stop people from committing a behavior. All you can is drive it underground. I'm on my second beer right now, and I'm debating having a third one. True, this isn't exactly a crackhouse, but these rules encourage me to drink alone. There is nothing and no one to stop me from breaking out my handle of vodka and having a vertible cocktail night right here in my room, alone. It's generally more fun being drunk around other people, but to compensate, I'll drink more. Great policy. Well done.
Shitty "community" events where we're lectured at for hours at a stretch is not exactly community building. How about some fucking fun? How about a few beers? How about a few shots? How about we get so drunk we're all stumbling around and talking about how much we loved this one song that goes like "DA NA NA NA DA DA" but we can't remember the fucking name of it? How about dude I totally know what you're talking about it, it was like the theme song to the cosby show but... different. you know?
No? Ok, I guess we'll just go off campus. Let me get my car keys. Yeah. I'm cool to drive. Yeah, I can give you a ride back too.
I shouldn't complain though, really. Even people that are 21 and over can only drink in thier rooms with the blinds closed and the door locked. Also, it's against the rules for anyone to display empty liqour bottles of any kind in thier room. Yes, little lamb, you heard correctly. It's a 3 strikes and your out policy not just for beer, but for beer bottles. Jesus fuck my eye.
The major downside of this is that liquor is a prime lubricant of social interaction among strangers. I enjoy being drunk, hell, I even enjoy being drunk alone. Still, I enjoy being drunk around other people more than being drunk alone, and by my definition, it means I'm not an alcoholic. If they really want to build community, they'd set up a few (dozen) kegs and just let everyone go at it. That's how you can instantly meet dozens of people and have a great social network. Not neccessarily "friends" but just people you can sit with at lunch and find out about campus events from. But no, that's not possible.
Of course, it's not possible officially, but a handy measure of intelligence is the amount of discretion an authority uses in enforcing arbitrary and harmful rules. In this case, they've elected to be female imperialist running dogs. That is to say, bitches. In any non totalitarian society, you can't actually stop people from committing a behavior. All you can is drive it underground. I'm on my second beer right now, and I'm debating having a third one. True, this isn't exactly a crackhouse, but these rules encourage me to drink alone. There is nothing and no one to stop me from breaking out my handle of vodka and having a vertible cocktail night right here in my room, alone. It's generally more fun being drunk around other people, but to compensate, I'll drink more. Great policy. Well done.
Shitty "community" events where we're lectured at for hours at a stretch is not exactly community building. How about some fucking fun? How about a few beers? How about a few shots? How about we get so drunk we're all stumbling around and talking about how much we loved this one song that goes like "DA NA NA NA DA DA" but we can't remember the fucking name of it? How about dude I totally know what you're talking about it, it was like the theme song to the cosby show but... different. you know?
No? Ok, I guess we'll just go off campus. Let me get my car keys. Yeah. I'm cool to drive. Yeah, I can give you a ride back too.
posted by Tristan Tzara at 6:30 PM
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